Such Great Heights

I'm too happy for words. so happy, in fact, that i've been handwriting my experiences down for the past few weeks, passing up blogging for a while. i havent had the heart for typing lately. there seems to be little heart in typing. i need passion. give me passion.

I am thinking it's a sign.

I'm thinking i'm feeling really great right about now. i haven't felt this way, really, in a while. i'm not going to be naive and expect too much. i just hope i'm right for once---that maybe this could be something wonderful.
these first moments i hope aren't the last. tonight was beautiful. my heart's beating a little fast.
i like the way he holds my hand, and smiles. i like the way he kisses me. the little, ridiculous doodles i left on his hands; the way he doesn't mind that i did so. the way i can't stop thinking about him. he's cozy, he's sweet, he's adorable, and i dont think he knows it.
i don't know. it's wembley.

please, let me be right.

You're a part-time lover and a full-time friend.

I can't even feel comfortable asking my mother if i can eat some Chinese after eating no dinner.
I can't even face my feelings for my best friend. I can't even decide how the fuck i feel.
I can't function around the guy I actually kind of dig. I'm good at creating awful, awkward situations, and I know he doesn't like me, how the hell could anyone?
and i know im making myself seem so pathetic, so lame. desperate, i guess is the word. i just have so much on my mind and i dont know what to say.
ahhh.
i need to breathe.
bye.