my conclusion.

i'm not actually having an epiphany as i write this. so, by 'conclusion', what i really mean is, "i have this newfound something", just not quite sure how to word it. you see, ive had this issue with songwriting where i could never write anything that didn't sound and read as contrived. it was fake to me. it didn't come naturally, it was as though i was writing for an objective although it was a subconcious decision to do so. so, by default, i hated anything that came from my pen. but this past night i set out to write a song that really was something i could be proud of. and i did. with old springs pike's 'i thought of you' playing in the background, i found ample inspiration for a piece of lyrical work that really felt good writing. and im actually kind of proud of it.
so i'm sitting here, and i feel kind of confident about it. im going to write some more tonight; because ive got a lot of inspiration and influences that need to be put to paper.
lately ive been getting to sleep super late considering the fact ive been making collages and painting things and just delving into little projects like that. its fun, and it keeps me busy.
so wednesday's coming up kinda fast. which trust me, i'm totally and completely fine with that because i've been waiting for this for months, what seemed to be AGES. and i'm SO FUCKING EXCITED! if you don't know, and haven't heard me get crazy about it, august eighth is the day i'm going to new york city to see spring awakening. you have no idea how much im looking forward to it. nothing's standing in my way of having an amazing time. ill see to that, ha.
well i think i'm done. carpal tunnel syndrome may be my demise if i keep ranting, so ill stop ;)