Rehab.

I cried enough for one day. i decided this after he left and i invited my two best friends over for the night. somehow, i just didn't think i'd survive alone. as melodramatic as that sounds. maybe that was just the broken heart talking. for all i know, it probably was.
we whipped out some good records (and some horrible, as well), put on some vintage frocks, and curled andy's hair. used up about 2 hours of our lives and half a can of hairspray. none of which we regret. i did his makeup, and sam and i picked out a nice red dress for him to slip into.
all while a whitney houston 7-inch from the eighties was spinning on the turntable.
he wanted to kill us. we just wanted to see what a great drag queen he'd make. and a fantastic one he is.
i am so pathetic, i am the only girl in the world whose eyes could possibly well up with tears at 'pay to cum' by bad brains. he ruined some good music for me. at least for the time being.
we danced, we laughed, and each of them listened intently as i spilled my guts, and my heart. im sure it got redundant, but somehow they never give a care. they really love me. you dont know how good that feels.
after andy left, sam and i cuddled up on the couch with a precious moments blanket and popped 'bridget jones' diary' in the dvd player. we scoffed and shouted at the screen at the bad guy. we whined at the heartbreak. we cheered for mark, who ultimately came to love and adore bridget for who she was. the world's population of women in its entirety needs more men like him. samara and i are still trying to find these kinds of boys. (gina is, too. so far, little or no luck at all.)
afterward, samara introduced me to 'hedwig and the angry inch', a fabulous musical about a transsexual german rockstar.
needless to say, she never ceases to amaze me in our friendship.
thanks to both hedwig and sam, i also became acquainted with an old myth:
when the human race was created, people were conjoined in pairs. zeus then split each in two. so, it was believed that that is the reason as to why we are always looking for our other half. its why we love.
'its the origin of love.' isnt that pretty cool? it isn't true, of course, its only alive in mythology. but its such a whimsical concept.
at any rate:
something like 8 brownies, one toaster strudel, one can of organic spaghettios, one can of ravioli, one butterfinger, six or seven sodas, one slice of grape pie with over half a tub of cream on top, some cookies, a piece of bread with a pound of butter on top, about a thousand laughs and one romantic comedy later, both samara and andy are home now, and its up to me to feel okay on my own.

hopefully there's enough comfort food and a good, juicy lifetime movie to keep me from crying tonight.